


Silent night, thoughtful night

by yogini



Series: Christmas fluff Camelot style [5]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Established Relationship, Ficlet, Fluff, Home, Love, M/M, One Shot, Short & Sweet, Snow, Trust, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-05
Updated: 2014-12-05
Packaged: 2018-02-28 10:20:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2728766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yogini/pseuds/yogini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gwaine contemplates his life as he watches the winter’s first snow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silent night, thoughtful night

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin or any of the characters in the series, I'm just borrowing them from their respective owners to play with a little and I promise to give them back when I'm done. No copyright infringement is intended and I don't make any money from writing fanfiction.

Gwaine could feel it now, the familiar feeling spreading through his body. It was the restless tingling in his legs, the way he woke up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason and it was the little voice in his head telling him that he’d stayed too long already and that it was time to go. It poked and prodded until he couldn’t resist it anymore and got out of bed, pacing around the room.

 

He’d lived most of his life like that. Always been the wanderer, the restless one, always on his way to someplace else and whenever he came too close to settling down his instincts had spurred him onwards, forward, away from the old and into the great unknown that was life.

 

His instincts had served him well. It was dangerous to stay to long in one place, dangerous to grow too attached to people, for the day when you had to leave always came sooner or later and the affection that you held for someone could be wielded as a weapon against you. Caring for someone meant that their pain was also your pain and that made you weak. Gwaine had realized early in life that the best way to avoid getting hurt was to never let anyone close enough to actually be able to worm their way inside your heart, and that’s how he’d lived. Always the boisterous one, always the merry, but also always the one keeping people at arm’s length.

 

He’d had a good life, and he hadn’t wished for it to be different. But then something changed. And suddenly it wasn’t enough anymore.

 

Gwaine sighed and stayed, leaning against the windowsill and looking out into the night. The moon was full and spread its light over the citadel and the forests beyond. It had snowed earlier that day, but it had been only a few snowflakes, and most of them had melted as soon as they touched the ground. Merlin had attempted to make a snow man before the Midwinter celebrations but he’d had to give up because there wasn’t enough snow and Gwaine smiled when he remembered how Merlin had pouted, looking like a disappointed child.

 

Apparently it had begun snowing again during the night and now the whole world was covered in a soft, white blanket of snow that glimmered as it caught the light of the moon. Stars sparkled across the sky and not a sound was heard. The whole of Camelot, if not the world, was asleep and left Gwaine to marvel at the beauty of this night alone.

 

But even if he was standing there alone, he wasn’t on his own anymore. At last someone had managed to pierce the walls that he’d built around himself, had managed to sneak up on him, and on his heart, and by the time Gwaine realized what had happened he wouldn’t change it for the world. He had a place where he belonged now, people to call his family and he had someone who loved him for who he was. And when the restlessness came over him he just accepted the fact that old habits die hard and then settled back down again, because right now he was exactly where he was meant to be.

 

“Gwaine?” Merlin mumbled sleepily. “Are you coming back to bed?”

“Of course.” And when Gwaine slid down under the covers and into Merlin’s warm embrace he knew that he was finally home.


End file.
